True shit
“Mom, Dad, I’m gay.”
“Ok… so do you want pizza for dinner or just McDonalds?”“Mom….I’m…”
“Gay. Yeah.”
“You knew?”
“I ship you and your best friend.”
“Ship?”
“I ship it.”
“Well…We’re dating. Is it fine?”
“Does he like reading?”
“Yeah. He read all those old books you liked when you were a kid. You know that series about those Greek god kids and wizards and that boy who bakes a lot and that-“
“You have my permission to marry him. Now let’s go to Disneyland.”“Mam, I’m gay.”
“OH SWEET FUCKING JESUS THANK YOU GOD YOU HAVE GRACED ME WITH MUCH IN THIS LIFE BUT NEVER HAVE I BEEN SO BLESSED AS TO HAVE A GAY CHILD THANK YOU ARE A MERCIFUL AND WISE LORD I GIVE YOU THANKS AND PRAISE AMEN.”“Mommy… I’m gay.”
“That’s great, baby!”
“H-huh?”
“Baby, you know that I support love in every form. And so does your dad. We love you always and forever. As long as your partner doesn’t abuse or use you, then I’m perfectly happy.”
“Mama, I’m gay.”
*gets on knees and praises the lord
“Wait, what’s going on.”
“I’m thanking God for the perfect son/daughter he gave me.”
“Mum, I’m gay”
“Oh my gosh thats so great! Do you have a boyfriend? Is he cute? When can I meet him? Tell me all about him! I’m already planning your wedding”
“Mom I”m gay”
*smiles* “That’s great”
“You’re not mad”
“No, I”m just glad you didn’t have to lie to us about it”
“Hey Moms, I’m gay”
“Hey Mom, I’m Gay”
“Okay dear, but still the same rules with dating as anything else.”
“Wait.. What?”
“You heard me, When you go out on your dates i want you back by 12”
“Okay then..”“Mom… I’m gay.”
“Go to your room.”
“I thought you’d accept me—”
“I do. Pack your bags, we’re going on a vacation.” /cue hugs“Dad… I’m <not straight>.”
“Oh, that’s all? I thought you’d failed maths or something. Here, have a cookie.”“So….yeah, mom.”
“Okay. Do you want to go to Five Guys?”
“I’m gay”
“Okay.”
“Is that it?”
“What, were you expecting me to get you fast food or something? We just got McDonalds for lunch. We can’t be eating out all the time. I don’t know why everyone keeps giving their gay children fast food as if its a reward for coming out. We’re eating what was planned for dinner, regardless of your sexual orientation.”
“But I hate spaghetti!”
“So do I, son, so do I”
“Then why are we eating it?”
“Because we don’t have anything left in the house, the car’s out of gas, and your mother won’t be home for another hour.”“Maaaaaaaaan. Can’t we order a pizza or something?”
“No.”
“But daaaaaaaad.”
“I SAID NO. Now unless you can find something else in the kitchen we can have for dinner we’re having spaghetti.”
“How about Pop Tarts”
“…okay fuck it, lets eat the Pop Tarts.”
“DIBS ON WILDBERRY”“FUCK”
…what was I typing about again?
“Mom, I have something to tell you.”
“Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God…. What is it?” *cringe*
“I… I’m gay.”
“….Oh! Is that it? God, I was bracing myself for something scary!”
“Mom, I’m gay.”
“Okay.”
“What?”
“Kid, I don’t care if you’re gay. Just don’t get your ass landed in jail and we’re cool, okay?”
“Uh… kay.”
“Mom, I’m gay.”
“GTK, dude. You want your club t-shirt now or…?”
“Hey, mom, I’m gay.”
“… Oh hey, me too. HIGH FIIIIIIIIIVE.”
“Mother, I’m gay.”
“I AM SO PROUD OF YOU…”
“…What?”
“NOW I CAN HAVE MY IRL YAOIS :DDDDD”
“MOM.”
“SON GO KISS HIM OR SOMETHING, STAY THERE FOR A BIT UNTIL I FINISH DRAWING YOU TWO.”
“MOM!!!!”
“Oh and take both your shirts off, that’s pretty sexy, MAN I AM GONNA GET MON—”
“MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!! SOB.”
“Mama?”
“Hm?”
“I’m Gay.”
*hugs* “Take picture of you two in the shower for me.”
“MOM, WHAT THE-“
“I MEAN, I LOVE YOU! COURAGE! NOW LET’S READ HOMESTUCK AND WATCH DOCTOR WHO, AND I WILL CALL YOUR AUNTIE CHAIA, AND WE WILL DISCUSS YOUR WEDDING.”
I’ll be a bit surprised at first, and slightly freaked out, and might be a bit ressilant. However, I’ll love them either way.Unless their partner hates Sherlock and Doctor Whomom, I’m gay.
The the only thing I’m sad about is not having grandchildren, but hey, I still have you, thats better than grand kids.
